The Worst Year Of Her Life
by vixengreen
Summary: Someone is alive who should be dead, kidnapped by death eaters, pregnant, how much worse can it get. Eventual HG/SB contains some HG/OC. Abuse. rated T for now may go up. my first fic so be nice x.
1. Revelations

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

The Worst Year Of Her Life.

Chapter 1: Revelations.

Hermione stood in front of her floor length mirror for the 20th time in the last hour. It was only an order meeting but she still wanted to look her best. She had tied her hair up with a few loose curls around her face, she had minimal make-up on but it suited her and after changing countless times she had finally settled on a pair of blue jeans her and a silver and grey long long top with a belt around the middle and black heels. The outfit flattered her curves without her looking like she was trying to hard she looked...

"stunning babe, absolutely stunning."

She spun around to see her boyfriend of 8 months leaning against doorway of her room he had his arms crossed casually and a slight smile in his face she couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you but I wouldn't go that far ..." she started but was cut off mid sentence by his lips on hers as he pulled her into his chest. He started to trail kisses down her neck. She cupped his face in her hands and brought his face back up to meet hers and kissed him again he broke away from the kiss with a serious look on his face.

"I want you to listen to me Hermione, I want you to know just how beautiful you are. How about I take you out to dinner after the meeting has finished? Then I'll apparate us both back to my apartment where i'm going to show you just how beautiful you are." She blushed at his last comment as he bent down to reclaim her lips. "Now come on." he laughed "the meeting will be starting soon and we wouldn't want to miss a single second of Dumbledore wittering on for the next two hours but not actually telling us anything new or of any interest." He finished laughing at the stern look she was giving her but soon stopped when she playfully slapped him on the arm. "Oh it's like that is it?" He asked. she just laughed at him til he picked her up over his shoulder slapped her on the arse and ran towards the door into the hallway into the corridor of Grimmauld place with a screaming Hermione in his arms.

"Put me down this instant or I'll hex you!" She screamed.

"What with babe you left your wand in your room" He said in a mocking tone.

"Fred, George you have to help me!" she pleaded as they walked by. They both spun round and shrugged then carried on walking.

"Sorry Mione, not much we can do" Fred called back over his shoulder.

"Arseholes!" She yelled at them.

"Well we definitely aren't gonna help you now" George laughed back at her. "Thats just pain rude" they started to walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.

She let out a screamed and started kicking her legs about like a maniac trying to get him to put her down. This just made him laugh even harder. He wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into someone in the hallway sending both himself and Hermione crashing to the ground. Still laughing he jumped to his feet and held a hand out to an extremely pissed off looking Hermione, she grudgingly took it and pulled herself up. He ran his spare hand through his hair asked her if she was alright then spun around to apologize to the person who he had just unceremoniously knocked to the floor. He was met by a pair of cold blue eyes. Shit this was going to be harder than he originally thought.

"Professor, I am so sorry. we were just messing about we didn't mean to bump into you." Hermione said quietly.

"Well i suggest in future you pay more attention to where you are going Miss Granger." He snapped."You are an adult now and I suggest that you start acting like one. I thought you had more sense. Obviously I was wrong and as for you Mr Chase." he turned to face the other person. "I expected better of you as head of The department of magical misuse. I thought you were more mature than this."

"Severus, It was an accident we apologized. There is no need to go off on one."

"Mark lets just leave it." Hermione said softly placing a hand on his arm in hope of calming him down.

"I am not 'going off on one' as you so politely put it. Mr Chase" he snarled "I would just like to remind you that you are not the only people that use this house and that you should be more respectful towards its other occupants. I suggest that you take some of Miss Granger's advice and 'leave it'. Do try to be more considerate of others in future." With that he spun on his heels and began to walk down the stairs.

"How dare he speak to us like that? That wanker just makes me so mad. What he says bothers you so it makes me angry as well cause I hate to see you upset. Does that make any sense at all Mione?" he asked. She just nodded as he rested his forehead against hers.

"He is just a foul bastard." She said between kisses. "Who gets a kick out of making my life miserable. Don't take any notice of him." She took his hand and led him towards the meeting room downstairs. She walked through the door it was already quite full so she began to walk towards the other end of the table where there were still some empty seats. She walked by Remus placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it as she passed. He looked up and gave her a small smile. He had lost so much in the war first Sirius and recently the mother of his two year old son Teddy. Tonks had died at the end of last year in a fight against two death eaters. Although they weren't together loosing her so close to loosing Sirius had really hit him hard. Hermione and Remus had become close friends over the past two years and he only showed his true emotions to her.

Next she waved over at Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Draco they were all laughing at Harry's attempt to win Draco at an arm wrestle. Draco looked up and smiled at her. She blew him a kiss which he casually caught in his spare hand and pretended to put in his pocket. If it wasn't for the fact that Mark knew Draco was gay he'd have been extremely jealous and probably hexed him, instead he just laughed and pulled Hermione into a kiss. They took there seats as Dumbledore entered the room. Harry and Draco both dropped their arms down by their sides and waited patiently for the old wizard to begin.

About half an hour into meeting after Dumbledore had finished reading through a list of the weeks numerous deaths, dementor attacks, death eater attacks on both muggles and wizards which were beginning to occur more often than ever he rose from his chair.

"Something has come to light over the last few days concerning the order. It appears that the death eaters have become aware of something that I have kept secret from you all" He began.

"which..." Harry asked but Dumbledore raised his hand to silence him.

"Two years ago I forced someone to go into hiding, However the death eaters have become aware of this. Therefore I owe you all an explanation of what is going on before you read it in the daily prophet in the morning." he paused for a second nobody spoke so he continued. "It came to my attention in Harry's fifth year that Voldemort" many people flinched at the name he just ignored them and carried on. "Would keep using the people close to Harry as weapons against him, so I thought it would be for the best to take away some of the temptations. Hermione who had been listening intently to Dumbledore's words had noticed that he was staring at something behind her. She followed his gaze towards the doorway until she gasped and shouted.

"Sirius?"

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	2. Explanations

Chapter 1: Explanations.

Everyone turned to stare at the door to where Sirius was stood. He looked different. His hair was cut shorter, he was wearing a pair of blue muggle jeans and a black button up shirt and he had gained a little weight so he didn't look gaunt anymore. He looked a lot healthier than he did two years ago.

"Sirius, I thought I asked you to wait outside?" Dumbledore spoke filling the silence.

"I thought it was best I was here when you explained." He replied quietly.

Dumbledore nodded and turned his attention back to the order members "I will explain everything all I ask is for you not to interrupt me until I have finished. I will answer any questions you have then." He looked around the room nobody spoke so he went on. "As you are aware two years ago Voldemort realised that he and Harry shared a connection, we were aware of this fact before him and it had proved quite useful." He glanced briefly at Mr Weasley. "However when Voldemort realised this link he began to think of ways to use it to his advantage. Voldemort thought that if he could make Harry believe that someone he cared about was in danger he could use that knowledge to lure him into some kind of trap to retrieve the prophecy." Dumbledore explained. "That night at the ministry I realised this and when Sirius fell through the veil I saw an opportunity. I thought that if Voldemort had used Sirius to get to Harry once then he'd do it again so I went back and took Sirius out of the veil and hid him until he recovered and led you all to believe that he was dead. I couldn't let you know of my plan because I needed it to be as believable as possible. I just want you to know that Sirius had no part in this nor was he happy about any of it, but at the time I thought it was the best thing to do and Voldemort stopped using Legimens against Harry. As the death eaters are now aware of the situation there is no need for Sirius to be in hiding anymore." Harry stood up from his seat and walked towards Sirius.

"So your not dead then?" He asked sarcastically.

"Harry please let me explain."

"Explain what?" He yelled at Sirius. "How you lied to me, pretended to be dead did you even try to fight for me at all."

"Of course I did Harry I care about you."

"well you have a funny way of showing it. You spend the first 12 years of my life in Askaban, then you have to go into hiding, then when your name is finally cleared you fake your own death and as for you Professor I used to respect you" He spat.

"I did all that for you." Sirius said calmly. "Harry please don't hate me. I couldn't bear it."

"I love you Si, but right now I fucking hate you." He shouted heading towards the door. Sirius went to following him.

"Sirius" He spun around and saw Hermione stood behind him with her arms crossed.

"Hermione I..." He started to say but he was cut off by Hermione.

"How could you Sirius. Just walk out of his life like that? All our lives?" She asked him.

"It's not like I had a choice." He replied not looking at her. He had suddenly found the floor far more interesting.

"There is always a choice Sirius. You just always seem to make the wrong one. Did you honestly you think that we'd just run into your arms forget that the last two years had never happened, that we'd be ok with this." She was shouting at him now. "We went to your funeral, we grieved for you and now you think that you can walk back into our lives and just expect us to forgive you and move on. The last two years all Harry, Remus and I have wanted was for you to come back but not like this Sirius. Right now I wish..." she paused for a second looking directly at him not breaking her gaze. "I wish you hadn't come back because at least then I wouldn't hate you so much!" She screamed the last part at him. She turned to storm out the door, he grabbed hold of her arm and she spun around and slapped him in the face. "Don't touch me. Just leave me alone I can't talk to you right now or I might say something I'll regret." A single tear ran down her cheek as she walked out the door. He stared after her rubbing the side of his face where she'd slapped him.

"Wow if that's Hermione holding back i'd hate to see her when she's really pissed off." George said with a nervous laugh.

"George Weasley." Mrs Weasley scolded.

"What I was just trying to lighten up the mood a little." He replied.

Sirius watched Remus stand up from the table and begin to walk towards him he braced himself for what was about to happen. Remus walked up to him pulled himself into a brotherly hug "I'll talk to you later, but I think there's someone who needs me more right now." and with that he walked out the door. Sirius just stood and stared at the door where the three people who he cared about most in the world had just vacated. A man pushed by him roughly heading to the door Sirius didn't know who he was nor did he care. Without saying another word he apparated to his room.

Hermione's Room.

She was storming around her room throwing her clothes into an open suitcase in the middle of her bed. She heard someone enter the room she turned around and was met by Remus's soft eyes he was smiling at her.

"Where do you think your going." He asked quietly.

"I just need to get away from for a while I can't think properly here." she stopped for a moment and smiled back at him.

"I just think you should calm down Mione. Just sleep on it tonight and then if you still want to go in the morning then you can." he was trying to make her see sense. "I just don't want you to do anything rash that's all. You know I care about you."

"I just don't know what to do.I need some time on my own I can't stay in the same house as him right now" she had tears rolling down her face now. He walked over to her and wiped away the tears that were falling down her face then pulled her into a hug then pulled her away kissing her on the forehead.

"Mione." It was Mark she looked up at him and smiled. "You going somewhere?"

"I just need some time out."

"Don't you think your overreacting a little?" He asked.

"You know what I don't think I am someone I thought was dead just told us all he wasn't. I think I'm acting quite calmly all things considered." she snapped back at him.

"I don't think you are. I mean I can understand Harry's outburst he was his godfather after all, but I don't get why you acted the way you did, I mean your acting like you were in love with him or something?" He looked at her she didn't have to say anything, her face said it all and she wouldn't look at him in the eye. "Oh my god your in fucking love with him aren't you? Am I not enough for you?." He shouted at her.

"It's not like it sounds Mark. Please you have to hear me out." She pleaded with him. "I did love him two years ago before I ever met you. I thought I was over him, but seeing him again brought back some old feelings. Its you I want to be with."

"Why don't you come and find me when you get over this stupid schoolgirl crush of yours, that's if I'm still waiting for you." He spat at her.

"Mark don't be like that."

"Like what exactly." He shouted. "How would you like me to react."

"Not like this I just need time." She answered.

"Have all the time you need." He said heatedly.

"What are you saying?" She cried.

"Fine I'll spell it out to you. I think we should take a break until you realise what you want. We're over you pretty much just told me you were in love with someone else and I can't deal with that right now cause I love you and it hurts to much." With that he apparated out of the room. Remus walked over to her, gave Her a brief hug.

"I'm just gonna go check on Teddy then I'll be back with all the ice cream and chocolate you can eat an we'll talk ok honey." He said with a wry grin. "I'll be back in about 10 minutes don't go anywhere." He said eying her suitcase. She nods her head as he walked out the door. When she was sure he was gone and he wasn't coming back she waved her wand and her remaining clothes flew into her case and it shut itself. she took one last look around the room she shared with Ginny and then apparated.

**Thanks to my first the reviewers.**

**panther73110**

**Esme's favourite daughter**

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**Limegreenpaint98**

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**Please keep reviewing. x.**


	3. Departures

Chapter 3:

Remus walked down the hallway of 12 Grimmauld Place back towards the room that Ginny and Hermione shared. He had just finished putting his son Teddy to bed. He reached the door and knocked on it lightly.

"Come in." Came a voice from inside the room. He pushed the door open and walked in.

"Oh its you." Ginny said disappointedly from the bed. " Sorry professor that was rude of me, I didn't mean that like it sounded. I just thought you were someone else." She smiled apologetically at him.

"It's ok Ginny, where's Hermione she said she was going to wait here for me." He asked looking round the room, but noticed that Ginny was still staring at the door and realised who she was looking for "I'm sure Harry will come talk to you soon Ginny."

"I hope so, Ron and Draco went after him after the meeting finished so I came up here to check on Hermione but she wasn't here I assumed she'd be with you." she replied. She looked at him and she could tell that he was worried.

"She promised she'd stay here. I shouldn't have left her on her own."

"Have you checked the library that's where she normally goes when she's upset or needs to think." Ginny suggested.

"I hope that's the case, I was only gone 15 minutes I had to put Teddy to bed." He replied

"Well we should at least check the house before we jump to any conclusions Remus." Ginny said jumping up off the bed. "I'll check the library and downstairs you check this floor..."

"Ginny when I first came up here she was packing. She said she needed to get away for a while. I thought I'd convinced her to stay. I hope she hasn't done anything stupid." He was really worried now especially since her suitcase wasn't on the bed anymore.

"We should go downstairs and inform the order." Ginny said rushing towards the door with Remus following closely behind her. They practically ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Molly and Arthur Weasley were sat the kitchen table talking to Dumbledore. All three looked up to where Ginny and Remus stood.

"Ginny what on earth is the matter?" Mrs Weasley asked her. She stood up from the table and started to walk over to where her daughter was stood. "Well?"

"It's Hermione, she's not in her room." Remus answered for her. "We think she's left. She's taken quite a lot of her belongings with her. This is all my fault I shouldn't have left her on her own. I just didn't think she would actually go." He finished staring at the floor.

"Did she say where she was going?" Molly asked.

"No, but there's only one place that I think she would go. Molly will you look after Teddy for me please." He looked over at her and she nodded. "Thank you I don't know how long I'll be. When I find her I'll send you an owl to let you know that she's alright." With that he apparated out of the kitchen.

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Remus apparated to Hermione's parents house he knew that they were at a convention in France, He walked into the living room. She was sat on the sofa the with her legs pulled up to her chest. He could tell that she had been crying. "I hope you don't mind but I let myself in." She jumped and looked up at him he smiled at her and sat down next to her. " I thought you were going to wait for me honey. I know your upset but you shouldn't have run out like that. I was worried about you." He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "You've had a bit of a tough night haven't you. How about I go grab some ice cream and we can talk about it just you and me"

"Remus I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you I just needed to get out of that house." She took his hand in hers. "Ice cream sounds good though I think that there's some in the kitchen. I'll go get us something to drink." Remus squeezed her hand got up and walked back into the kitchen. She went over to her parents drink cabinet and opened it, she took out a bottle of apple sourz, vodka, some bottles of lager and some glasses. She put them on the table then sat back down on the sofa with her legs crossed and her back against arm rest. Remus came back in with a tub of ice cream sat down at the other end of the sofa placing the tub in the middle of them both and handed her a spoon.

"Mione, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

"No it's ok I think it will be better if I talk about it." She said pouring them both a shot of apple sourz and passing one to Remus. "But first alcohol." They both downed their shots and then took a bottle each. "Where should I start." She asked as she took a spoonful of ice cream.

"How about you and Mark?" He suggested.

"I don't know where to start, He's been a big part of my life for the past year and I truly care about him, but as he said we're over so what's there to say? He hates me I as good as betrayed him" she said taking another shot.

"Maybe when he's had chance to calm down you to could talk, he obviously cares about you."

"Oh Remus you know full well that that isn't going to happen I just told him I was in love with someone else, even if he does forgive me which by the way is highly unlikely I couldn't do that to him. It just wouldn't be fair on either of us" Hermione told him taking another shot then refilling her glass.

"You do realise that you never actually told him you were in love with Sirius." Remus pointed out taking another shot. He looked over at her she was fiddling with her glass absentmindedly.

"I didn't have to say anything it was written all over my face." she shouted at him. "I thought I was over him, but seeing him tonight brought back old feelings that I made myself forget. I honestly thought that I was over him and moving on with my life." she paused for a moment. "I'm just so confused, I don't know how to feel right now. God i am so weak how could I let him do this to me again, I should be furious with him for coming back and messing up my life but I can't be and I can't talk to anyone about it. Harry won't understand that I'm in love his godfather and Ron will just get mad that I choose another man that wasn't him."

"You can talk to me." Remus took her hand trying to calm her down. "You were there for me when I needed a friend, I don't think that I could have got through the last couple of years without you."

"I feel the same about you, you're one of the few people that I really trust. You've always been there for me when I needed you and you never let me down. I feel as though I can tell you anything. I just don't like to bother you with every little problem, you have enough to contend with right now." She explained.

"Don't ever feel like you can't tell me something. I'll always be there for you, just like you we're for me. Now how about you go grab that case of yours and come back with me?"

"That really means a lot to me." She cried. "But I can't go back there." Tears were falling down her cheeks now he reached out and wiped them away.

"Don't cry honey. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to, but maybe you should go to bed you look shattered. It's getting late. I'll come back to check on you in the morning." He went to get up but felt her hand on his arm.

"Please don't leave me tonight I don't want to be on my own." She pleaded with him.

"Of course I'll stay, Molly said she'd look after Teddy for me." She stood up and went to take another shot but stumbled he caught her. "And I think that's enough alcohol for you." He laughed.

"Your one to talk." She said pushing him lightly and he fell back. "Come on I'll find you something to wear I'm sure that Mark left some clothes here last time he was here." She started walk out of the room and up the stairs but she was having trouble walking. When they finally made it up the stairs and into her room she jumped on to the bed.

"Aren't you going to get changed." He laughed grabbing her hand and pulling her up. She steadied herself and went over to her dresser and took out an over sized quidditch shirt. She started to undo her belt, then lifted her top over her head and pulled down her jeans and stepped out of them. she bent down to pick her clothes up and draped them over a chair. She stood for a moment in her black and white striped bra and matching French knickers then she pulled the shirt over her head. She spun around threw a pair of mens pajama bottoms at Remus. "Put these on, I'm just going to brush my teeth." With that she ran out the door. He got changed quickly. About five minutes later she came running back in with the bottle of vodka in her hand. He raised his eyebrow at her "What?"

"Firstly Hermione, I thought we said no more alcohol and secondly haven't you got a top for me to wear." He asked taking the bottle from her. He took a drink from the bottle then handed it back.

"You know Remus for a werewolf your a bit of a pansy. Afraid that I'll see you topless and jump you" She laughed at him.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit did you know that Hermione." he retorted She jumped back on the bed and pulled him down with her. "Ow that hurt."

"You really are a baby aren't you?" She laughed at the hurt look on his face, taking another drink out of the bottle and passed it back to him.

"So where am I sleeping then?" He asked taking another drink.

"Here!."

"What do you mean here?" He said slightly confused.

"As in here in this room in this bed you idiot god I thought you were intelligent."

"Hey will you quit insulting me?" He said jokingly taking another drink then passed it back to her she took another drink put it on the dresser then got into bed.

"Only if you get into bed." She laughed patting the space next to her on the bed.

"Maybe I should sleep downstairs." He tried to reason with her. She just giggled as she grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bed.

"Much better don't you think professor?" She laughed.

"Please don't call me professor in bed." He said drunkenly.

"What would you prefer me to call you in bed?" She asked raising her eyebrow at him.

"You know full well that I didn't mean that like it sounded."

"How about Remmie or Mr snuggle bunny or you could be my big bad wolf and I could be little red riding hood and then I could say oh Grandma what a big..." She was just about to finish her sentence when he jumped on her and started to tickle her again "Stop it please, I'm sorry I take it all back." She pleaded with him. He eventually stopped tormenting her and laid back on his side facing her with his head resting in his hand.

"Ok I'll Stop as long as you promise to take it all back." He laughed.

"I am sorry I didn't mean any of that she said seriously. "I never should have insinuated that you have a big dick." She manged to get out before bursting into another fit of giggles.

"You're gonna regret saying that." He laughed and went back to tickling her. They were both laughing now. After about five minutes of her pleading him to stop he did and looked down at her she was smiling up at him. He bent down and closed the gap between them and kissed her. began to pull back feeling slightly foolish until he felt her lean forward to return the kiss. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth slightly. He finally came to his senses and pulled back. "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that." He apologized but he was silenced by her lips on his. He eventually pulled back again. "Mione honey, I don't think this is the best idea I should go."

"Don't go." She was crying again.

"Shh honey don't cry I'm not going anywhere. We'll talk in the morning but I think for now we should sleep." He whispered in her ear as he brought her into his chest and wrapped his arm around her waist as they both fell asleep.

**Please review x.**

**Thanks to all the reviewers x.**

**Just to clear a couple of things up. **

**Harry and Hermione are 17 nearly 18.**

**Voldemort is still alive.**

**The war still going.**

**Two years after OOTP.**


	4. The morning after

**Disclaimer; I still don't own anything.**

Chapter 4: The morning after.

Hermione woke up with a pounding headache and realised she was in her parents house but couldn't quite recall how she had gotten there. She reached over to her beside table and took the alarm clock off it and looked at the time it was 8 o'clock she groaned and rolled over only to be met by a chest, a mans chest no wait a naked man's chest. She stared at it confused for a moment trying to remember the events of the night before. Sirius had returned and she could remember yelling - a lot. Then she had packed and apparated, cried - a lot. Remus had followed her and they'd talked and drunk a lot of alcohol. Then they had gone upstairs to sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary there and that's when it hit her. "Oh my god!" She whispered so not to wake the sleeping Remus at the side of her as she slid down the bed under the duvet wishing that the ground would swallow her up. How could she have been so pathetic as to throw herself at him. She mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. All she wanted was a friend last night and now she had probably ruined one of the best friendships she'd ever had.

"You can come up now." Remus said with a slightly amused tone in his voice. In all the seriousness of the situation he couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of him.

"I don't want to." Came a muffled voice from under the covers.

"Come on baby I think we need to talk." He said seriously. "I know you think last night was a stupid mistake and so do I, but can't we just laugh it off we are adults after all."

"You do?" She asked sounding slightly shocked.

"Yes baby. Last night you just needed someone to talk to and it went a little bit further than that if anything you should be mad at me for taking advantage of you." He replied quietly. With that the duvet flew off her and she sat up in the bed looking directly at him.

"You didn't take advantage of me!" She yelled at him. "Last night I needed to feel wanted and if you hadn't come after me then I would have gone out and found someone who could do just that. So don't you dare sit there feeling guilty nothing happened we kissed and that's all nobody got hurt did they?"

"Ok honey, but can you quit yelling cause my head hurts like hell." He laughed. "I just needed to get you talking to me again I know I didn't take advantage of you if anything it was the other way around." He laughed at her unamused face. She just threw a pillow at him. "Ow that hurt."

"Good, you deserved it." She giggled "Well you gonna close your eyes then so I can get dressed and keep the last bit of dignity I have?" Hermione asked.

"I don't think that's necessary." He answered with a slight smirk.

"Of course it's necessary. Why would it not be!" She screamed.

"Firstly can you not shout my head's banging, Secondly and probably more to the point as I recall last night I saw you undress." He smiled at her shocked expression. He knew he shouldn't have mentioned it but it was too good an opportunity to pass.

"Please tell me your joking?" She pleaded with him but he just shook his head. "Oh my god, as if it wasn't bad enough that I threw myself at you now your saying that I what? Gave you a little striptease?"

"It wasn't that bad honestly you just changed in front of me." He reasoned with her. "Now how about breakfast and maybe some hangover potion? Then I'm going to have to go back to Grimmauld place. Maybe you could come with me everyone will be worried about you especially Harry and Mrs Weasley. SHIT!" He shouted.

"What is it Remus?" She asked.

"I promised Molly that I would owl her when I found you. Let her know you were ok. When I first got here you were so upset I forgot she's going to be having kittens."

"I owled her as soon as I got here Remus so you have no need to worry." Hermione said calmly.

"You are a life saver." He said kissing her on the forehead.

"So how about that breakfast. Nothing too extravagant though I still feel slightly nauseous." She jumped out of the bed and pulled on her dressing gown headed out the door and down the stairs into the kitchen. Remus followed her down minutes after and started to clear up the mess they had made the previous night. "There's really no need for you to do that I'll do it later after you've gone come sit down." She said indicating towards the table as she began to search through the cupboards for something edible. "Cereal ok?" She asked grabbing an unopened box off the shelf.

"What's cereal?" Remus asked confused taking the box from her hands studying it.

"It's a muggle thing it's actually really nice." There was a slight tapping on the window Hermione spun around and noticed there was an owl outside the window. She walked over and opened the window. The bird flew in and landed on the table and stuck it's leg out waiting patiently for someone to take the letter that was attached. Remus leant over and took the envelope.

"It's for you." He stated passing her the letter and watched as she read it she was frowning slightly.

_Hermione, _

_So glad to here that your okay we were all so worried when you disappeared last night you didn't even leave a note. I would have had a little more common sense what with all the death eater attacks that are occurring lately. Never mind though at least we know you're alright. All we ask is that you come home Hermione. _

_All my love Molly x._

"It's from Molly she wants me to come home." She finally spoke after scanning the letter several times. A slight pang of guilt hit her as she realised just how selfish she'd been leaving like she had.

"Do you want to go back?" He asked cautiously.

"Well I cant stay away for ever and I suppose the longer I leave it the harder it will be to return. I'll just tidy up here and I'll come by later." Remus flicked his wand lazily and the room was spotless. "Maybe I should..."

"Stop making excuses Hermione." He said softly as he took her hand in his. "Lets go honey. I think Teddy's missing his favourite Auntie." They apparated back to the kitchen in Grimmauld place and Harry and Ginny who had been sat at the table rushed towards her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you guys too but I can't breathe." She laughed as they grudgingly let her go. "How you holding up Harry?"

"I'm ok, me and Sirius talked last night and we're starting fresh as of today. You really had us all worried Mione." Harry scolded her. "Have you told Mark you're back baby?" He inquired.

"We broke up last night." She whispered.

"Oh, sorry I didn't realise. You'll work it out though won't you?"

"Maybe." She answered. "We should go check on Teddy." She said changing the subject she really didn't want to go into that right now.

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Remus followed Hermione up the stairs and into teddy's room. He was in his bed. She walked over and picked him up. "Hey Teds, you fancy some breakfast." He nodded his head vigorously making her giggle.

"Do you want me to bring some up here we never ate back at your parents." He suggested thinking that she probably didn't want to be bombarded with a million and one questions.

"That would be nice I'll get him dressed while your gone."

"Good luck." He laughed it was a difficult job getting him dressed. with that he left the room.

"Looks like its just you and me Teds, What do you want to wear today?"

"Nothing." He giggled. After about 10 minutes of Teddy wriggling about and protesting she had managed to get him into a pair of blue dungarees and a blue top. He was now sat on the floor playing with his toy broomstick. Remus came back in the room he had changed into a pair of muggle jeans and a shirt. He put the tray down on the table and passed Hermione a glass of juice. She took it and watched Teddy playing. He looked so happy and content considering everything that had happened lately. She was just sat smiling to herself for a while.

"Feeling better honey?" He asked.

"You know what I think I am."

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	5. Welcome home

Chapter 5:

**Disclaimer: Believe it or not I do not own Harry Potter because, if I did Sirius, Fred and Remus would not be dead. I don't own the song that I will be using in this chapter. In fact I own nothing. Now on with the chapter x.**

Harry walked up to Hermione in the library she had been staring at the same page for the last 20 minutes. "Mione." She looked up smiled and placed the book down on her lap. "We're having a small welcome home party for Sirius tonight you should come." He waited for her to answer. "Please Mione there will be loads of people there you wont even have to talk to him. It would mean a lot to me if you were there." He pleaded.

"Like who?" She asked.

"Well most of the order is going to be there, Oh and Ron invited Mark he didn't realise that you to weren't together anymore, sorry honey." He said apologetically.

"I can't." She wasn't ready to see him again yet.

"Yes you can babe." He nodded. "Oh and there's gonna be karaoke, I no how much you enjoyed it last time." He said winking at her.

"Ha ha very funny. There is no way that I'm singing again." She said not being able to hold in a smile.

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Hermione sighed loudly, she had just had a bath and was stood in her underwear and a short bathrobe staring at her bed. She had pulled out her entire wardrobe onto it looking for something to wear to the party tonight, she had it narrowed down to about six outfits. "Damn it why didn't I start earlier." She scolded herself taking one last look at the clothes she grabbed two outfits off the bed and headed for the door she opened it slightly and poked her head out of it. After checking that there was nobody in the hall she made her way down towards Remus's room and knocked lightly. She pushed the door open Remus was sat on the sofa with Draco talking they look up Draco smirked at her stood in her underwear.

"Remus I need your help." She said frantically.

"Do you two want me to leave you alone for a while." Draco said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Not like that you perv, I just need his opinion on what to wear tonight and seeing as your here you can help me too."

"Ok ok. What do you need us to do?" He asked slightly amused.

"Which one?" She asked holding up a dress in each hand.

"Which one what?" Draco asked stupidly.

"My boobs you moron I'm asking you which looks one bigger." she said sarcastically. "The dresses you idiot." she snapped.

"The left." He said with a small smile.

"Oh you think i should wear the black dress?" She asked.

"No I think your left tit is bigger." He managed to get out before he burst out laughing. She slapped him round the back off his head.

"That's not helping ferret." She shouted.

"Fine, fine." He got up and apparated back to her room grabbed a load of clothes off he bed then apparated back. He threw it all onto the bed. "Right where do we start." Draco walked up to the clothes occasionally picking something up and holding it up against Hermione shaking his head then turning back to the bed. "Why is this so important to you what you wear anyway?" he asked seriously holding up a pair of white jeans before shaking his head again and tossing them back onto the bed.

"Because, mark's going to be there it's going to be the first time we see each other since we broke up. I want him to see what he's missing." She answered honestly.

"So you want him back then?" Remus inquired. She shook her head.

"Let me get this straight, you don't want him but you want him to want you." Remus asked confused.

"Something like that. Do you two know nothing about girls?" She laughed.

"Nope." Remus laughed.

"And probably never will." Draco laughed. "I've got it." He grabbed Hermione and held up a white short sleeved shirt and a black waist coat that would sit just under her breasts. She went to put it on but he stopped her and passed her a black bra. "Put this on first." Remus looked away whilst she put took of her bra and put the other one on. Draco went back to the clothes looking for some trousers that would go with it. She then put on the shirt and waist coat. Draco then handed her a pair of dark blue wide leg jeans and a pair of black stilettos. He sat down on the bed and waited for her to put them on. They both looked her up and down approvingly. Draco walked up to her and undid the two buttons above the waist coat revealing the black bra. Then spun her around so he could fasten a necklace around her neck that had a heart shaped pendant on it. "Perfect baby." He said smiling at her. "You should so wear this tonight what do you think Remus." He asked as he spun her around a few times.

"Definitely." He nodded. "Mark wont know what hit him." He added putting a lot of emphasis on the word 'Mark.'

"Thanks I don't know what I'd do without you two." She said gratefully. Ignoring his last comment. Knowing full well what he was implying.

"Probably would have turned up in your underwear. Not that I'm saying that would be a bad thing." Remus chuckled earning him a slap around the head. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her on the head. You gonna tidy that mess up he said pointing at the bed.

"Oh yeah." she said. She walked over and picked up her clothes then apparated back to her room. She waved her wand lazily and it flew back into her closet neatly. She sat down at her dresser and started to do her make-up. She kept it minimal and did a spell to straightened her hair. She took one last look in the mirror finally happy with how she looked. There was a knock at her door she walked over and opened it it was Harry, Ron and Ginny. The two boys just stood there with their mouths hanging wide open shamelessly. Ginny laughed and they quickly shut their mouths. "Do you think I should wear something else?" She asked nervously.

"Hell no you look awesome! Pay no attention to these two I don't think they realised you had breasts until now." Both girls giggled. "You ready Mione the parties started?" She grabbed Hermione's arm and they both went running down the stairs giggling. Harry and Ron looked at each other and shrugged. Saying something along the lines of 'girls' then started to walk down the stairs talking quietly to each other. When they got into the living room they saw that Hermione and Ginny were already dancing. Harry looked around half the order had turned up. After about an hour of mingling and drinking Harry noticed Sirius stood by the fire place in deep conversation with Remus he walked over and placed a hand on his Godfather's shoulder.

"Hey mate great party huh?" Harry asked.

"Yeah." He was staring at Hermione watching her dance not really listening.

"She'll come round you should try talking to her." Harry said patting him on the back then walked over to Draco and Ron.

"well you gonna talk to her then?" Remus asked

"who?"

"Don't play dumb you know exactly who I'm talking about." He said pointing in Hermione's direction.

"Will you keep your voice down?" He snapped back. He was still staring at her. She was sat down on the sofa with Ginny. Talking and drinking. Ginny kept pointing at the Karaoke machine. Hermione kept shaking her head.

"What do you suppose that's all about?" Sirius asked'

"Its a magical karaoke machine. It picks a song that relates to how the person is feeling. It was hilarious last time she went on one." He said grinning.

"Why?" Sirius inquired.

"The song she got. It was when she first started dating mark..."

"Who's Mark?" Sirius asked with a hint of jealously in his voice.

"Her ex. That's him over there talking to the twins. Anyway they'd had a big fight. So she gets really drunk and ends up on the karaoke singing this muggle song called U and Ur hand by pink. Absolutely hilarious." He was laughing by now.

"Is this a private joke or can anyone join in." Draco asked raising his eyebrow.

"Remus was just filling me in on the last time Mione did Karaoke." Sirius answered.

"Yeah I felt sorry for Mark it was a bit brutal wasn't it?" He started to mimic her. "I'm not here for your entertainment, you don't really want to mess with me tonight..." Everyone was laughing by now which caught Hermione's attention. After realising what he was doing she sent him a death glare. "I guess I should stop now before I get castrated." They all shuddered at the last part. "Oh looks like she's actually going on this should be interesting considering the emotional roller coaster shes been on lately." Everyone stopped and turned to watch her. She was being pushed towards the microphone by a very persistent Ginny. After realising that she wasn't going to win she let Ginny perform the spell that chose the song. Hermione looked down at the song that it had chosen for her a little shocked and attempted to walk away, but Ginny pushed her back. She had no choice but to sing.

_I always needed time on my own,  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry.  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,  
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side. _

When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now.

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you.  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too.  
When you're gone,  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok.  
I miss you.

I've never felt this way before,  
Everything that I do reminds me of you.  
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor,  
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do.

When you walk away I count the steps that you take,  
Do you see how much I need you right now.

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you.  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too.  
When you're gone,  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok.  
I miss you. 

_  
We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were, yeah  
All I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah _

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you.  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too.  
When you're gone,  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok.  
I miss you.  


Hermione finished singing and jumped off the stage and ran out the door she was crying. Sirius who had been watching her intently throughout the whole thing was one of the few who noticed the tears. He had been mesmorised by her he never knew how well she could sing. "That mark guy must have meant a lot to her." He said bitterly.

"I don't think that was meant for him."

"What do you mean?" He demanded.

"Are you really that blind Sirius." He said. "It was for you now go after her for fucks sake." He roughly pushed Sirius towards the door. When he reached her she was sat on the floor against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was crying. His heart broke to see her like this and knowing he was the cause of her distress almost killed him.

"Mione." He whispered.

"Go away Si. I'm fine." She cried.

"I seriously doubt that." He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"You must think I'm so stupid?" She said looking away. He placed his hand under her chin and turned her head so she was looking directly at him. He leaned towards her.

"No I don't that's the last word I'd use to describe you." He spoke softly before closing the gap between their lips and kissed her.

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	6. New start

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**Sorry about the late update!**

Chapter 6: New start.

"You must think I'm so stupid?" She said looking away. He placed his hand under her chin and turned her head so she was looking directly at him. He leaned towards her.

"No I don't that's the last word I'd use to describe you." He spoke softly before closing the gap between their lips and kissed her. The kiss started off soft. He ran his tongue across her lips and deepened the kiss. Sirius ran his hand along her stomach under her shirt causing her to moan softly.

Ginny came running into the hallway. "Hermione where are you? You have so got to see this..." She stopped mid sentence and looked down at Hermione and Sirius, they were completely oblivious to their surroundings. She coughed loudly in a poor attempt to break them apart. She had a feeling that they didn't want everyone finding out like this. Still with no sign of them coming up for air anytime soon she did the only thing she knew would work. "Hem, Hem." They broke apart instantly looking sheepishly at Ginny who was stood there with her hands on her hips. "When you're quite finished. As I was saying you have got to see this." She pointed towards the living room jumping up and down enthusiastically making Hermione laugh. "Come on."

"What are you talking about Ginny?" Hermione said slightly amused.

"The guys on karaoke." Ginny managed to get out before collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"Seriously?" Hermione asked Ginny nodded. "What are they singing?" She asked excitedly.

"Living on a prayer." She replied with an evil grin.

"But that's our song from school."

"Yeah I know. You coming?" She asked indicating towards the door. Hermione jumped up and followed Ginny out leaving a very confused Sirius behind. Shaking his head to clear it he pushed himself up off the floor and made his way into the living room. What he saw made him smile, Draco, Dean, Ginny, Seamus and Nevile were all on the stage with Harry and Ron who had been joined by Hermione were in the middle.

_We gotta hold on to what we've got._

_It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not._

_We got each other and that's a lot for love._

_We'll give it a shot._

_Were halfway there._

_Living on a prayer. _

_Take my hand and we'll make it I swear._

_Living on a prayer._

_We gotta hold on ready or not._

_You live for the fight when its all that you've got. _

_Were halfway there._

_Living on a prayer. _

_Take my hand and we'll make it I swear._

_Living on a prayer._

He waited until they had all gone back to what they were doing Hermione was dancing with Harry and Ginny. He walked towards Hermione and took hold of her hand without saying a word and led her into the hallway it was packed with order members. He carried on walking ignoring the strange looks they were getting when they reached the kitchen they were met by Molly Weasley, she was too busy rushing around to notice that they had come in. Sirius managed to sneak her through the back door into the garden undetected. Sometimes it paid to be a marauder. He took off his jacket and put it round her shoulders then sat on the bench pulling her down with him.

"What are we doing out here?" Hermione finally spoke still not letting go of his hand.

"I needed to talk to you without being interrupted." He answered honestly. "It was close back then, we were lucky that it was Ginny that found us. I just wasn't thinking straight sorry." He explained.

"What is it that you want to talk about?" She asked.

"I don't know where to start, How about an apology? I'm sorry I lied to you all about the veil and I'm sorry for any pain that caused you. I know that sorry isn't enough but its a good a place as any to start." He looked up at her trying to figure out what she was thinking. "I hate to see you upset."

"I know it wasn't your choice and you were just following orders, but it doesn't take away the pain it caused. I just don't see why Dumbledore had to keep us all in the dark especially Harry."

"Dumbledore had his reasons." Sirius said more to himself. "He thought he was protecting Harry."

"And what exactly is the one person he has left dying protecting him from?" She shouted.

"He had you, Ron, Remus and the Weasley's." He retorted.

"But, we're his friends. He may have had us but he needed you don't you get it your the closest thing he ever had to a father. He blamed himself for your death."

"Do you honestly think I don't know that?" She shook her head. "Do you think I didn't fight for him, when I woke up from that spell it had been six months the damage had already been done. I honestly didn't have a choice." He explained. "I know it's no excuse."

"You're right it isn't an excuse." She snapped.

"I can't change what's happened Mione." He yelled back at her. "Do you really think I wanted any of this? Harry may have forgiven me, but it's going to take a long time to get his trust back, you detest me and I wasn't there for Remus when he needed me most. Have you any idea how that makes me feel?" He asked looking her in the eyes.

"Of course I know you didn't want this. You're here for them now that's all that matters." She said calmly.

"The women he love died and I wasn't there for him."

"He didn't love her." She said quietly.

"I still should have..." He looked at her confused. "What?" He stammered.

"I said he didn't love her, she loved him." Hermione said with a sigh. "People just kept pushing them together not really caring what Remus wanted. Eventually he gave in, but after it happened he regretted it. He felt guilty he didn't want to hurt her so he decided to end it before it got out of control. He was just about to tell her when she told him she was pregnant. So he decided to give it ago for the sake of the baby, about two months after Teddy was born he realised that he couldn't and finished it."

"But I was still 'alive' so to speak when they first got together, Dora had Teddy just before I went away. Why didn't he talk to me about it? Maybe I could have helped him."

"He thought you had enough to worry about with Harry. He didn't want to bother you." She said honestly.

"Still I'm his best mate he should have said something. I've seriously fucked up haven't I?" She nodded. "How come you know all this?"

"It wasn't that hard to figure out to be honest. At first I just thought it was the whole I'm not good enough for you cause I'm a werewolf thing but if you looked hard enough you could see it wasn't what he wanted."

"I've missed so much of all your lives. Dumbledore told me parts but it's not the same as actually being there."

"Well like I said before you're here now and that's what matters. How about we start again from now? Stop living in the past a clean slate so to speak. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, but we could at least give it a try."

"That would be nice." They sat in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry I slapped you." Hermione said sincerely.

"You don't have to apologise for that I deserved it." Sirius said laughing. "If anything I deserved worse."

"Ok well I'm sorry for wishing that you hadn't come back. It hasn't been the same here without you."

"Really?" He asked slightly shocked.

"Yeah we've all really missed you." She said honestly smiling at him. He couldn't help but return it.

"So what have you been up to Remus says you have a boyfriend?" He tried to sound casual about it. He wanted to hear this for himself.

"Ex boyfriend." She said bitterly.

"Sorry. What happened?"

"He was jealous, of my relationship with Harry, Ron even Remus and well every other guy who I talked to, smiled at or was in the same room with. The only guy he wasn't jealous of was Draco and I don't think I need to explain why." She sighed.

"So that's why you finished it?" He asked.

"No Mark ended it." She really didn't want to go into it right now.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Don't be I'm not." She looked at his shocked expression and laughed. "We broke up it's not a big deal. I'm more bothered about losing him as a friend, we've been through a lot together." He nodded then looked at his watch.

"Oh I'm sorry am I boring you?" She said playfully.

"No, it's just it's 2am and we have that order meeting in the morning you should get some sleep." He got up and realised that she was still holding his hand he smiled, even though they'd been fighting she hadn't let go. They made their way back inside the house.

"Looks like everyone else had the same idea. It's so quiet." She said looking around.

"Come on I'll walk you to your room." He said leading her up the stairs opening the door to her room. Ginny and Harry we're asleep in Ginny's bed. "Go Harry." He joked earning him a slap on the arm. "What it's a guy thing." He noticed that Draco was sprawled across her bed asleep. "Looks like we had a problem." He laughed.

"Yeah I suppose we kinda do." She laughed. She walked over to her bed and looked at Draco she didn't have the heart to wake him so she pushed him gently towards one side of the bed. "Problem solved." She said looking at an extremely confused Sirius. Hermione walked back to him and took his hand. "I'll see you in the morning Sirius, it was nice to talk to you again." She placed a kiss on his cheek. Then watched as he left to go to his room. She quickly got changed then pulled the covers back and got into her bed next to Draco and fell asleep.

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